But Christmas is all about business!

Updates

Yes, you heard me. Christmas is really all about business.

First, have you ever gotten tired of your coworkers? You know, the ones playing games on their phone business meetings, taking naps, applying for other jobs on company time, etc. The ones who deserve to get fired, and perhaps you’re waiting, maybe even praying they get the boot.

But then something unfair happens, and instead of the boss handing over a pink slip, he or she hands out a promotion and a raise! Unfair, right? I know about a time when something like that happened.

A Family Business with a Rotten Employee

Once upon a time, there was a family owned and operated business that had a toxic brand manager named Adam. This guy was bad – a total sluggard: he showed up late and left early, he didn’t meet his key job accountabilities (KJAs), he regularly stole from the company. He even had the gall to promote his side business on company time, using company equipment. He even tweeted about it:

“Selling company stuff cheep! Printers 4 sale! #stickingit2theman”

Don’t assume this was a one-time offense. No, this had been going on since the first day the manager started. He’d been warned verbally, in-writing and in-person time and time again. But he didn’t care! He figured the company owed him.

“My job sux! Cant wait 2 leave! LOL #hatetheboss”

Enough is enough

Finally the President himself had enough and decided to set an example to this scum burger. He also wanted to set the record straight to the rest of the company and the entire world, that this behavior would not be condoned. Otherwise, this family brand would be forever tarnished.

But the President of the company had a heart. He knew what would happen if he just fired this clown:

  • He’d be bankrupted by debt, because he had run up hundreds of thousands in credit cards and payday loans.
  • He’d be unemployed for a long time, since his bad reputation was so well known throughout the area.
  • He’d be imprisoned by his own shame, knowing how useless he had been.

So the President got together with the CEO, who happened to be his son, and they hatched a plan: They would terminate the brand manager.

Judgment Day

The next morning, the brand manager got a call from the CEO:

“Hey, Adam. Take the day off. Dad wants me to cover for you today.”

Adam was thrilled. “Awesome! I get the day off!” So he skipped out of the office while the CEO came downstairs to take over as brand manager for the day.

While the CEO was working at the brand manager’s desk, with the shiny title of “Brand Manager” on his desk, a letter from the President arrived:

To the acting Brand Manager: You are hereby terminated from the company for failing your duties. Please gather you belongings and leave immediately.

People looked in shock, thinking the CEO would know the pink slip was intended for Adam. But the President’s son stood up and said, “No, this is addressed to the acting brand manager, and today I am the brand manager!” He quietly met two security officers who escorted him out of the building and locked him out.

Soon the whole company was asking, “Why would our CEO take a pink slip for that rotten manager?”

Later that day, Adam heard what happened, how his boss took a pink slip for him. Cut to the heart, he called up to resign, but the President called and said to report early the next day for a new assignment.

Adam assumed the worst. For sure he would be cleaning toilets or stuck on graveyard shifts. Surely the President was going to demote him to something awful.

Good Things Happen to Those Who Waste

The next day, the President made an announcement: He was promoting Adam to Vice President, giving him the same salary and benefits that his son once enjoyed. Also, he would personally train him to quit treating life like a J-O-B and start acting like a Vice President, to quit mooching and start taking ownership of the family business, just like the President and CEO did.

Adam’s life changed that day. He realized he wasn’t working some stupid J-O-B. He was part of a family business that loved him more that he deserved or imagined.

Now, don’t despair over the poor CEO that got unfairly fired. A few days later, the President rehired his son as CEO again.

Most. Unfair. Boss. Ever.

Now, if you’ve read this far, you might think this story is unfair or perhaps unbelievable. Have you ever had a boss do something crazy like that?

Well, I have. That’s right, because I was that lousy manager. I was the jerk that should have been canned, but my CEO stepped to save me from getting fired. In spite of dropping the ball on my duties and promoting my own brand over my company’s, my President loves me as I am, and he loves me enough to train me into the best leader I can possibly be.

Hiring for the Holidays

Guess what? We’re hiring, and you’ve never seen benefits like this! Let me know if you’d like to get in touch with the CEO. He never turns down referrals and you’ll never meet anyone like him.

Oops! I was supposed to write something about Christmas and business. I hope my story at least somewhat touched those topics.